"When did crappy shirts with stupid stuff on them become cool?" -Keith, Veronica Mars

Veronica: I want to find out who this kid is and what art room he voted in.
Wallace: Yeah, and I want a statue of myself in the main lobby, holding a musket and staring down danger. Since we're talking about stuff we want.

Mac: Are you freaking kidding me? The Pi Sig mega apocalypse? Hump the furniture, party back to the stone age, fifty keg bacchanalia?
Veronica: Sounds like fun, right?
Mac: Will they let me in? I think all the glitter has come off my porn star tube top.
-Veronica Mars

"Plus, we could use the money-- wouldn't it be nice to have glasses in the kitchen that didn't have Hamburglar on them?" -Veronica Mars

"'Steve'? Who names a dog 'Steve'?"
"Tom Cruz."
-Veronica Mars

Logan: You do not want to start with me today, Paco.
Weevil: Are you sure? It was in my day planner under "goals."
-Veronica Mars

"She's not my old lady, she's my special lady friend!" -Keith, Veronica Mars

Veronica: Dad, your hooker is here.
Keith: 'Escort,' honey. Why don't you go to your room and do your blog, or whatever you kids do?
-Veronica Mars (obviously)