Homer: "I'm feelin' low, Apu. You got any of that beer that has candy floating in it, you know, Skittlebrau?"
Apu: "Such a product does not exist, sir! You must have dreamed it."
Homer: "Oh. Well then just gimme a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles."

Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go, Moe, my damn weiner kids are listening.

"Smithers, can't you iron these creases out of my pants?"
"Mr. Burns, sir, those creases are in your legs."
"Ah yes, so they are."
-The Simpsons

"Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You might recognize me from such educational films as Lead Paint: Delicious but Deadly and Here Comes The Metric System!" -Troy McClure, Simpsons

Lisa: "Do you even know what a rhetorical question is, dad ?"
Homer: "DO I KNOW WHAT A RHETORICAL QUESTION IS?"

Dr Nick: "While you were that coma, did you feel your brain being damaged?" -Simpsons

"Let us go forward, not backwards; upwards, not forwards, and twirling, twirling, always twirling, towards freedom." -Simpsons

Marge: You know, just because you were invited to join a freak show doesn't mean you have to.
Homer [blankly]: You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different people.
-Simpsons

"Ach. Stay off the grass!" -Groundskeeper Willy's sign on The Simpsons

"Oh, what's the matter, sweetie? Did the last of something die?" -Marge Simpson

"Well, he can't break my heart... because he kind of makes me sick." -Selma, Simpsons

"I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year!" -Bart Simpson

“it’ll be like swiss family robinson… but with more cursing! We’ll live like kings! Damn hell ass kings!” –Bart, Simpsons

it started out like romeo and juliet,
but it ended up in tragedy
-simpsons

"Lisa, you don't spend ten years as a homocidal maniac without learning a thing or two about dynamite." -Sideshow Bob